To-morrow We Will Run Faster

The musings of cloudy stream of Unconsciousness.

"Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope".

an overlap of experience, on the same page, honesty. just telling. im so happy. 


Le mystère est exempt de pudeur (Mystery is free of shame) by Georges Hugnet, 1935. Collage.


Le mystère est exempt de pudeur (Mystery is free of shame) by Georges Hugnet, 1935. Collage.

It seems that 5, 15, and 25 are significant age markers for me. 5, school sets me on my path. 15, sets me on my friendship path. 25, changing the route of all the paths I am already on. Change.

If you are a rock (my rock), 

You are not the hard mountain of ice and rough cliffs and steep unyielding terrain, thrust upwards and out and together by the grinding halts and shoves of the Earth’s turbulent insides. I do not scale you, you do not block my way.

You are a smooth stone in my nervous palm, with an even weight; you possess me with your measured calm. Experience and time has worn away your cracks and crevasses, and jagged peaks. 

 I close my fist and you fit.

"You should think about what you’re willing to give up"

Let’s be real. If I am with him, and you’re not in the picture it won’t be because I didn’t try and I “gave you up”. It will be on you.

Why I place value on this I don’t know at this point.

I have so much more respect and admiration for b. And maybe like even tho this is a bad time to be thinking this way, but like not telling me u were seeing r, like shutting me out of that is brutal as fuck.

And I always defend u and reassure u u that u aren’t not like her, but u can be. And u are right now.

And u do what U need to, and I guess I just have to do me.

And I owe T an apology and maybe like gratitude.

And if u are jealous like everyone is saying then u need to come to terms with that

Validation. From others. From them. Love. Should I live alone? I shut out my parents. Should I go to Vegas? Separation. Change. Anxiety. Breathe. Support.

Anxiety about living situation changes. Breathe breathe breathe no crying.

My feelings are tangled headphones

Be anti social and shut me out