I need a relationship just like one with my best guy friend, only with sex.
My soul is hungry and I don’t even know for what.
I devour knowledge and people and experience.
Craving possibility and adventure, I will disrobe and bare my naked soul to a Universe that would drape a heavy, silent, velvet curtain of modesty upon my shameless desires. And the Universe would nourish me with goods, and status, and the false warmth of the Truth.
But I devour.
Each time we speak:
Not the same,
You are the one who lets me in the least Sometimes you are hard to be friends with You’re expectations and reactions I don’t understand Is anything good enough for you? Either of you?
Honestly your moody bullshit I am
Just done with
Not engaging is preferable
To pretending I’m on your side
His ex-step dad’s mom used to be my
Mom’s employee and all this dogwood knowledge came back and we talked about the step dad and how awful he was and bonded over the strange, small world we inhabit
Internalizing everyone else’s stress. Anxiety.
As we continue to share, we grow closer. Sharing personal things and discovering we are on eerily similar wavelengths a lot of the time.
It makes me certain that there are many types of soulmates.
We understand each other. Feeling that you are understood is an overwhelming thing. And I don’t think it’s something you can take for granted once you have felt that way. I am so grateful.
Emotionally, I am closer to him than anyone else right now.
You’ve been amazing
You always know the right thing to say
I’ve never had to ask you for anything
I’ve never said it
Last week we were going to be a team in Dungeons and Dragons. he was going to be a goblin who practiced necromancy and I was going his translator, a half-elf alchemist that sold blue meth.
The first time I met him he hugged me and picked me up. On New Years he helped stop several fights and helped clean up. Two weeks ago he came over and a bunch of us watched hilarious videos and we made a Mii of him. Last week he greeted me first because we had forgotten to hug it out the weekend before. He said ” i havent given you enough love lately”.He had his own heavy duty set of D&D dice he kept in a velvet crown royal bag. I see him holding both chip bowls last week on his lap and pretending he wasnt going to share, drinking Asahi and talking about how people shouldnt need other people to feel happy or complete in life. I remember him shaking his shit when someone started playing the Pokemon theme song, and I remember him leaving when we started playing boy bands and saying nothing could top that. demonstrating how he would flex while waiting at intersections to freak out the driver next to him.
I didn’t really know him, but I will remember .